Frying Bacon

By CJ Knight

Photo by David Trinks on Unsplash

James woke up to the smell of frying bacon drifting through the house. He stirred beneath the bedcovers to the sound of clattering plates and quiet laughter flowing down the hallway. The fog of sleep clung warm and peaceful like a soft blanket of dreams. “Dad! Breakfast!” He opened his eyes to sunlight filtering through the break in the curtains along the floorboards of the bedroom. James smiled. His son’s excited call for breakfast was something his ears hadn’t heard for a long time. With a groan, James wiped the sleep from his eyes, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The weight of early morning pressed on his shoulders. A woman’s hum carried over the other sounds of the active kitchen. Low, familiar. The tune she always hummed while cooking. A tune that hadn’t been in the kitchen for twelve months.

The smell of frying bacon intensified as James staggered down the hallway. He passed the children’s bedroom. Both beds were empty, blankets tangled and thrown aside. James heard them now, Ethan and Lily, talking over one another, voices excited. In the dining room, James found them seated at the table, still in their pyjamas, giggling over glasses of orange juice and plates of eggs and bacon. The blinds were open at an angle, cutting strips of morning sun through the shadows of the room.

Rose stood by the stove, back turned. She wore her pale blue robe, the one she loved. Spatula in hand, scraping the frying pan as she hummed. James’s throat went dry at the sight. A sight absent from the kitchen at breakfast time the past year. Rose turned. Her face brightened at the sight of him. A smile, warm and welcome. “Good morning.” The words fell through him. James just stood in the doorway, staring. Her face, eyes, the way she swept a loose strand of golden hair from her eyes. No memory or photograph. After a year she was back, like nothing happened. “James?” Rose sat the spatula down. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” The swallow stabbed at his throat. “I just didn’t expect…”

The smile returned to Rose’s face. Morning light touched her cheek. Her gentle fingers found his arm. “You should sit.” Something inside James screamed. This was all wrong. Why was she back after so long? He did as she said, taking a seat at the head of the table. His children chatted excitedly. Lily talking about last night’s dream. Ethan showed him a picture he’d drawn. James did his best to listen. Tried to enjoy the moment, but a year is a long time. Memories flooded back. The tears flowed as Lily and Ethan wondered why their mother left. Endless nights of silence and loneliness.

They ate breakfast, Lily, Ethan, and Rose acting like the last year never happened. Rose filled their plates, poured juice, kissed their foreheads. James forced a bite of bacon past the lump in his throat.

When Lily and Ethan left the table to play, Rose folded her hands over her lap. Her eyes found James. “I’ve missed this so much.” James sat his fork down, the lump in his throat holding words at bay. “I know it’s strange. My coming back like nothing happened.”

“Nothing?” The word twisted in his throat. Something stirred inside him as he gazed at her gentle smile. It unlocked how happy he thought they’d been. The way she used to look at him in the morning. Memories he’d locked away when she left. Too painful to picture when he was alone. “You shouldn’t be here, Rose?”

“Why would you say that?” The smile dropped from her lips. “Why can’t we go back to the way it was?” Her eyes drifted to the doorway, to the sound of Lily and Ethan playing together. “I’ve missed them, James. I’ve come back for them. Can’t you just pretend to love me?” Rose leaned forward. “The way you used to pretend. You were so good at it.”

James stood. His chair toppled backward as he did. “Stop!”

“Dad?” The children poked their heads through the door.

James forced himself to smile, although the smile never reached his eyes. “It’s fine. Go get ready for school.”

“Oh, let them stay home today, James.” Rose stood. “They’ve missed me.”

Lily and Ethan hesitated in the doorway. Their eyes drifted between James and Rose. “Now!” James pointed down the hallway. They ran to obey, whispering as they left.

Rose turned back to him. “I came back for them, James.”

“For them?” James felt the anger rise.

“Yes.” She smiled. “You can’t keep me away from them. I carried them. I know their hearts. Tonight, I’ll take them with me, where they belong.”

James’s knuckles cracked as his fists clenched. “Stay away from them.”

By the afternoon, the warmth of the morning vanished. Purple clouds filled the sky, washing the sun away. James skipped work and stayed home. Rose ignored him and kept to the kitchen, humming her tune. When the kids returned home from school, that sat at the dining table, drawing pictures. Both oblivious to the tension between Rose and James. To them, their mother was home, and everything was back to normal.

As evening came, James crept down to the basement. When he found what he was looking for, he found Rose watching him from the doorway. “Looking for a way to make me leave?” She smiled at the look on his face. “You’ve always hated that I know you better than you know yourself.”

“You’re not taking the kids, Rose.”

“Try to stop me.”

As night fell, James sat alone at the dining table, staring down at the item from the basement on the table in front of him. Would it be enough to make her leave without the children?

Lily and Ethan slept soundly, tucked beneath their blankets, unaware of Rose watching over them from the doorway.

James took hold of the item on the table in front of him. Lily screamed. He rushed toward their bedroom. “Please be enough.” He found Rose standing at the foot of Ethan’s bed. Lily and Ethan held each other, trembling with fear. “Get away from them, Rose!”

“Don’t be afraid. I’m your mother.” The blue robe drifted around her as she turned. This was no longer the woman cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Blood ran down her face from a cut along her forehead. Her skin was grey, and eyes sunken, pale and white.

James held the item he retrieved from the basement and held it aloft. “Rose, stop it!”

Laughter echoed through the room. “That won’t work, James. You don’t believe in it.”

He reached forward. His fingers passed through her shoulder as if it were fog. “What do you want?”

“Say it.”

The memories flooded back. That night a year ago. An argument in the kitchen. She turned her back on him. Hummed that tune. He hadn’t meant it. The discussion wasn’t over. He grabbed her by the shoulders to turn her around. Rose struggled. James tossed her down. Her head slammed against the counter on the way to the floor. The pool of blood spread beneath her through the kitchen. Her body still. “Please, Rose. Stop!”

“Admit what you did to me!”

James dropped to his knees. “I didn’t mean…”

“I’m taking them with me!”

“I killed you!” A thunderclap shook the room. Rose’s face softened. “Please don’t take them.”

Rose’s gaze drifted back to her trembling children. “Someone’s coming with me. A life for a life.”

“Dad, what’s happening?” Lily’s trembling hand reached for her father. Ethan hid his head against Lily’s shoulder.

Tears ran down James’s face. “It’ll be ok, kids. I promise.” He looked at Rose. “Take me.”

Rose’s eyes widened. “You’d give yourself?”

James gave a nod. “Just leave the kids alone.”

A snarl spread across her lips. “You don’t deserve redemption for what you did, James!”

James lowered his head. “I’m not asking for it.”

Rose studied him. The air in the room pulsed like the eye of a storm. Finally, she extended her hand. “Then come.” James reached forward. Her fingers were ice. The warmth from the morning long gone. Pain exploded through his body, like being turned inside out. His vision faded to black as he felt his body pull down. Memories flooded his dying mind. Rose smiling on their wedding day. The love in her eyes after the birth of each child. And finally, the lifeless look in her eyes on the kitchen floor. Then nothing.

Rose turned to the trembling children. Her face peaceful. “I love you.” She faded away.

When dawn broke the next morning, Lily and Ethan wandered to the silent kitchen. They found their father seated at the dining table, slumped in his chair. On the kitchen counter, two plates of eggs and bacon sat waiting, still warm.

***

The grandparents took in Lily and Ethan, and then they sold the house. No one stayed there long. People would hear the humming in the kitchen early in the morning, smell the bacon frying only to find the stove turned off, and no one there.

On some nights, they’d hear the raised voices in the kitchen. The thump of the counter, followed by a man’s tears.